I Get Lonely Too

It goes without saying that this year has not been what we expected. There has been a lot of loss, and not just loss of life. We have experienced and are experiencing in some ways a loss of expectations, plans, and sometimes even hope. I think what makes this moment particularly different is that the number of unknowns.

COVID-19 not only threw a wrench in our plans, but it has completely altered the world that we live in. Gone are the days where we could freely go outdoors with no cares in the world, now we have to wear masks, ensure that we are not going anywhere with too many people or that is very high touch. For me, thinking about going outside feels so cumbersome that I choose to remain at home.

Some of you may have been like me and found yourself living alone intentionally or not. From March to early June I did not leave my apartment. I was confined and isolated, and while I took solace in the fact that I had space to think and just be. There were incredibly lonely moments too. I was soo fatigued by the endless stream of Zoom meetings and events, and simply longed to be embraced by my friends and family.

You may not even be physically alone, but what could have beens or what should have beens might leave you feeling deserted. It’s okay not to be okay, especially in these times. Take the time to find your refuge whatever it may be. I delight in preparing meals for myself, dancing to my favorite songs and watching movies from my childhood.

I don’t write this to share half-baked wisdom and say this too shall pass because we all already know this. Knowing this doesn’t necessarily chase away the pangs of loneliness that form knots in our chest when we want to share an experience with other people. I write this to say, me too.